A Loss

So I just got a phone call. I didn't feel like talking so I'm not sure what made me answer it, but I did. A friend called to tell me that a lady who lives in my neighborhood, Tina, passed away today. That woman was one of the nicest people I knew and had more than enough problems in her life. Every kid in my neighborhood was Tina's kid. She loved us all and will be missed by many. RIP, Tina. We all love you. ♥

That was what I posted on my Facebook around 6 o'clock this evening. A beloved neighbor by many has "moved on", passed away, gone to heaven, left us, however you want to put it, shes no longer here with us in body.

On any given day you could expect this wonderful woman to be seen walking around the neighborhood with her lovely little dog named Maya. She cared for this dog with all her heart as she could, sadly, not have kids. She seemed able to except the fact and all the love she would have given to a child of her and her husband's own blood she gave to her dog and any child who wanted or needed it. I swear she cared for every single one of us in my neighborhood, and I couldn't be happier to be included in that group.

She'd talk with us like a friend, not an adult. She was always sure to make you happy and smile. I can't pretend that I knew her more than I did. I had gotten closer to her over the past few months and now wish I'd gone more out of my way to talk to her when she walked by ever single time, yell out of my window hello. I wish I could remember the very last time I talked to her better. I realize now, it had actually been a while. Two weeks probably, at least.

I know I never knew how to approach the subject of her cancer, nor ever really had the chance to as others were almost always around. I now realize, terribly realize, I was one of those people who were "lets pretend its not happening in order to get passed it". Maybe not in so many words, but I was one less person to voice I was there.

One of those "I don't know when or if its the right time" people. I now realize in most cases, she probably felt she was dealing with it a lot on her own. I think, though I can't say for sure, people with a sickness or disease probably feel the weight of it more than we realize, as people on the outside feel its better not to talk about it. We usually don't want to.

I'd give anything to even just say "I know I'm sixteen and may not seem like anything more than a teenager to you, but I can always listen and I'm sorry you have cancer" or whatever. You get the point. Don't people always have this "I wish I would have/could have/hadn't have/etc." guilt?

I went to my first funeral about two years ago for my mother's cousin Claude. I didn't know him, but seeing him lying there, unmoving and never to move again, definitely had an effect on me. About two months ago, my gradnfather's sister died. I didn't know her either and nothing was really said about it so it had nor more of an effect on me than hearing of somebody's death on the news.

Sad and terrible but not directly hindering.

About a month ago a guy, who was about six years older than me, died. I hadn't seen or spoken to him much when I knew him nor had I for the past 4 years as I had moved completely out of state. It effected me most of anything yet because I was sort of friends with his sister (who is my own sisters age) and his cousin who is more my age. I knew his family. I knew him. We'd lived in the same neighborhood. Still, the effect on me was less than what I'd have expected.

Tina is the first person I was really "close to", still talked to, actually had long conversations with, had walked with, and lived in the same neighborhood as that has passed away. I was already crying within a minute of hearing of her death. I had to tell my sister and mother and father who were standing nearby and had no idea why I was suddenly crying.

Soon after telling my sister she called a friend who is actually a distant relative of Tina to see if she knew. Apparently the girl, Paige, called her Aunt/Uncle to talk to them about it after, and when she did, they said it had pretty much just happened. Very shortly before she called.

Which leads me to believe I must have been one of the first people outside of the family to find out. The person who called me and told me who said "Tina died today" must have litterally called me just after it happened. I don't know what to think of that.

This blog isn't supposed to be about me though, or anybody else but Tina. She was an amazing woman and I give my heart out to her family who are sure to miss her dearly.

We all love you, Tina. If somehow you were to miracuiously read this, see what I'm typing, I'd tell you I hope you didn't feel alone and that I hope you can understand why I didn't say I'm sorry about you having cancer. People always say they get sick of hearing sorry, especially when they've lost a loved one or some such situation. Were you one of those people? Or would have you been immensely relieved to hear those two words? I hope you knew I felt close to you and loved talking to you, even if I'm all wrong and didn't know the real you at all.

I loved who I knew and always well. I still can't believe it, it seems unreal. Rest in peace, Tina, because you deserve your piece of Heaven.

With all my love,
Samantha N.

PS: I hope not to offened any of those who knew Tina and might come across this. My intentions were all the best, I promise. Bless anyone out there who has, especially recently, lost a friend, family member, loved one, old enemy, neighbor, or whoever.

Cancer has taken another fighter down.. Bless all who are still in the fight and those that made it through.

11/08/10

(Posted at 10:54 PM)

Extremely irritated.

Well I started out in a good mood. Now I'm just annnoyed to heck because my blog never cooperates. I'm trying to update pictures and things and its not working. And it NEVER posts when I try to post. It just keeps saying its pending posting, as if I've set the time ahead of what it is. Which I have not. Well I'm going to get in the shower. Maybe my blog will cooperate more when I'm out and back in a better mood.

School is SO time-consuming.

It REALLY is. Even before it started, and it was just getting close, I had no time to do everything I wanted.

Kind of ridiculous how much less time you have when nine hours of your day are gone. It isn't even just those hours while you're at school. Its all the rest, too. Because, besides the obvious studying and homework and such, you're tired before you walk in the door, have food to eat and things to do outside of my internet-social life.

I have like no writing time left. My writing has drastically fallen behind. Blogs, novels, short stories, things for my awesome writer's club at school. (Not litterally MINE, just the one I'm in.) All of it.

I've hardly read, either. Which is why what I'm reading and going to read hasn't changed (if you've noticed the books on my home page). I actually finished Dust to Dust a long time ago, and it was great. I loved it.

But, weirdly, everytime I tried to find out when the next one, which is actually talked about on the last page of Dust to Dust, comes out, I just kept getting "July 2010". So, then the next thing I know, its like the next one doesn't exist by the time it is August, still have heard nothing about it. Not on a Barnes and Noble website, not on hers (Graham's, I believe my mom checked it), just nothing. I haven't looked for it sicne August. Maybe I should do that..

Never got around to Sweet Little Lies, either. STILL. I have too many books on my bookshelf I need to read. I started a book called The Winter Road by Terry Hokenson. I had checked it out and was just way reading it too slowly and had to return it when I was only about half-way through. I'll have to get it again. But I just started reading Monsters of Men (Chaos Walking trilogy #3 by Patrick Ness) yesterday!!! Love it, of course. Crazy, too. I want to finish it NOW but don't ever want to, either. :/

Back to my main point, about school being a time-suck. It really is, and it really SUCKS.

My appearently so busy life outside of school? Homework, football games, friends, homecoming this weekend, you know, all the things teenagers normally do. I am excited for homecoming, though. Even though since it's my third year like none of my friends are going. LAME! :/

And, lastly, my life IN the time-suck? School is pretty great this year, if I'm being totally honest. No, that does not mean I've suddenly lost all rational thought and become a homework-junkie. I just have fun classes and great teachers. Junior year (eleventh, not counting kindergarten, for those of you who may actually be reading this and not understand the term) is turning out to be pretty awesome so far. :)

Well.. Hm. I don't think I ever posted about my 16th. Its been so long I can't remember. Sixteen is really just a number. Its hard to explain but its like I'm not even an age. Just me, Sammy. I hardly ever think about the fact that I actually AM sixteen already. I don't feel younger, but I don't feel 16, either. Like I'm a number after fifteen and before sixteen, haha.

Samhain is coming up, which is awesome! Gotta love the amazingness of Halloween. Well. I think this is good enough for a long-awaited post from Samatha's Blog. Signing off!

Authors and Books

As promised this is my post about some of my personal favorite authors and the book/books of their's that I have so far read.

First, the series' that would make the very top of my list would be...



-the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

*Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

(Also: The Tales of Beedle the Bard)

-the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer

*Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn

(Also: The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner)

- the House of Night series by PC Cast and Kristen Cast

*Marked, Betrayed, Chosen, Untamed, Hunted, Tempted, Burned.. (to be continued)

-the Old Kingdom/Abhorsen trilogy by Garth Nix

*Sabriel, Lirael, and Abhorsen

(Also: Across the Wall)

-the Chronicles of Ancient Darkness by Michelle Paver

*Wolf Brother, Spirit Walker, Soul Eater, Outcast, Oath Breaker, and Ghost Hunter (Which somehow I still have yet to read!!)

-the Skinjacker trilogy by Neal Shusterman

*Everlost, Everwild.. (to be continued)

-Chaos Walking trilogy by Patrick Ness

*The Knife of Never Letting Go, The Ask and The Answer, and Monsters of Men (out in September in the US!!)



I'd say those are my top fav's. Harry Potter is a classic and I grew up watching the movies and love Harry's magical world I sometimes want to live in.

Twilight is about vampires and it's a romance and different. 'Nuff said.


The House of Night is also about vampires, but it shows it from the POV of a normal teen girl, and it shows things that interest me (meaning the religion aspect, if you well).



The Old Kingdom/Abhorsen trilogy is amazingly written and it's that fantasy story I love as well as unique.

The Chronicles of Ancient Darkness is also about things that interest me a lot (the whole story itself- the clans, the nature, the 'life style' I guess) and it has that twist to it that keeps you hooked.

Skinjacker's is by the first author I ever dubbed 'my favorite author' other than JK Rowling, so obviously I had to read it. Its so different from a lot of the things I've read. I don't know if you'd even call it fantasy or what. But the characters are relatable and the storyline is great.

Lastly, Chaos Walking I can say I did NOT expect much from at all (terrible, I know). It seemed interesting so I gave it a try and got an amazing plot that, like the above stories, is much different from a lot of thigns I've read in it's own way. It sucked me right in.

I could go on and on about not only these series, but many other's I have read. But I'm going to try to keep this short. So let's move onto stand-alone novels. (I'll probably publish a page with titles of books I've read and enjoyed for anyone who would actually see it and want to know.)



The few of stand alone novels are (while trying to give you different types of books instead of all fantasy :P)..

-Unwind by Neal Shusterman

-Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side by Beth Fantaskey

-Immortal by Rachel Caine, Kristen Cast, Cluadia Grey, Cynthia L. Smith, Richelle Mead, Nacy Holder, and Tanith Lee (coll. of short stories)

-The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger

-The Splendor Falls by Rosemary Clement-Moore

-How I Live Now by Meg Rosoff

-Killing Me Softly by Nikki French

Okay. I hope that gives you a look at the different kinds of books but that are still come of my favorites. (Like I said- instead of just fantasy.) All of these books are suspenseful, thrilling, suprising, sad, happy, and just all around greatly written. If you want a great read, any of the above (series or stand alone novel) would be a great read.

All of these authors do a great job of pulling you right into the world of their character's right with them.

If you want a straight fantasy book I'd try the Old Kingdom trilogy.
If you want romance I'd try Immortal or Killing Me Softly.
If you want a more teen vampire book I'd try Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side.
If you want an action-y book I'd try Unwind.

But really these are all some of my favorite reads. The authors are great!

Killer Headache

Its been coming and going over the past two days and an upset stomach. Ugh. How fun for me!



Thankfully, I have my little guardian angel to keep me company. Her name is Minnie and shes thirteen year old tabby. Sweet as can be and very talkitive, shes been with me since I was three. :)




She had a brother, named Mickey of course, but we only have her now. (We also had Kally- a calico- and Moris- we aren't sure what type of cat he was because my aunt [who we got him from] didn't know. Just a long haired grey kitty.)

But she really does act like my little guardian angel. <3

So, while going through all this crap just to get that picture (I had to e-mail it from my phone, than edit it and whatnot) I found out the oil spill is officially stopped! Isn't that a miracle?

They don't know if it will hold, but for now it is appearently working. I can't believe it even happened in the first place let alone went on for 80 some days! It is abslolutely ridiculous. But I don't feel like ranting so we'll leave it at that. ;)

Appearently it went on for 85 days, and spilled up to 184 million gallons of oil into our beloved oceans. That's terribly sad. I can't imagine the clean up involved in something this size. The enviorment is really going to sufer for this one. All those animals, probably killed.. Its just terrible. :(

I really don't like mosquitos. This isn't as random as it may sound. ;P
I was outside last night until about 11 o'clock an got bit all over and they were hugee spots. This morning when I woke up they were way smaller, but ugh. I even got bit twice under my left eye and it is soree.

Especially since I hit that exact spot earlier- that was a painful and funny moment. I know- "Funny? Didn't you just say 'painful' in the same sentence?"
But I have to admit it was funny and I felt idiotic that it even happened.
Oh well.

I'm wondering if this site started in 2007, because I finally glanced through some other blogs earlier and the earliest back any went was '07.

I think it may storm again. I don't think it has rained so much in summer ever. No matter where I was living. Speaking of moving- who moves a lot? Ohhh!
Do you know what I just realized?

This coming year- my junior year, *squeeel*- will be the first year EVER that I will have gone to the same school for more than two years in a row! There was kindergarten and first at one school, second and third at another, forth and fifth at yet another, sixth and most of seventh at ANOTHER (all but about two weeks at this school), the last SIX weeks of seventh and eight at another school (I was mad I had to go so much longer when I switched, it sucked), and now ninth and tenth at one school.

Next year, unless something changes (which actually- there was multiple problems going on with my house over the past few months) I'll go to the same school for more than two years! Woohoo. It is a miracle. :P

The show I'm now watching (I changed the channel to a show called "Monsters Inside Me") is totally gross. I've watched it before and continue to watch it sometimes, even though its completely gross. I'm not sure why I watch it. I have a really strong stomach, at least.

I'm not afraid of bugs, sharks, spiders, the dark, heights, the boogeyman, faries, or mustard- but parasites do honestly freak me out. The idea of having one, anyways.

This blog has changed subject about 20 different times now.

Hmm.. Our water randomly shut off earlier. No idea why. My mom was all "don't flush the toilet unless you have to" or whatever. Well, needless to say a few hours later I forgot and flushed the toilet. Of course I remembered right after I did it. All I could do was say "crap" and "whoops". But then I thought "hey, maybe it's back on." So, after I'd already turned out the light and started to leave, I reached over and turned on the faucest and what do you know!

The water was back on. I know- this is a very amazing story. The moments of Samantha's broing life are so intriguing.

I'll stop blabbing your eyes out (I can't really blab your ears off, now can I? Seeing as you are reading this and not listening to it.).

I think I'll post about authors next as well as whatever comes to mind. Oh and the very long time it took to finish this my headache went away! Woohoo. :D
(At least for now- I think the heat in my room is giving me a headache. Even though its not really hot at all. But now that my fan has been off for a while it feels like its starting to come back. Great. Short lived happiness.)

Writer, Reader, and Friend,
Samantha-Aniwaya<3

Hope

This is a really short post.. I just have one question.

Why do we hope for something we know isn't going to happen and can't? Why do we spend time daydreaming about the impossible?

I suppose some of it just shows the faith in humanity. But I still wonder why I spend time day dreaming about something that can't happen and having some weird, small hope that it could still be possible. It irritates me, honestly. I feel ridiculous knowing I somehow hope for it when it's not going to happen.
*Sigh*

Writer, Reader, and Friend,
Sammy-Aniwaya <3

Birthday number thirty-nine.

Ughh. I'm trying to go through and get a good amount of editing done on Life Living In A Hotel but all this other stuff keeps sidetracking me! Ugh I hate editing. It just takes too long.

Wouldn't it be just awesome if there was an Editing Fairy? When ever your writing was finished, you just called upon the Editing Fairy. She would show up, magically know how to make it perfect, and kazam! There's a perfectly edited piece of work written by you.

Look, here she is. The magical Editing Fairy.

Ain't she just peeeeerfect?

Ain't.. I can't decide if that's a word that should just suddenly dissapear or if it doesn't bother me.

Anyway. Back to my point. Wanting to work on everything at once just does not work for me. How do you decide what to do? I guess the best answer is whatever needs done first.

Well. I'm going to eat some chinese and do a bit of outlining then get back to editing, I guess. (Yumm, the chinese is really goood. :D)

By the way, today is my father's birthday. Happy 39th to him! Old man.. hehe, just kidding.

You know there are four birthday's in July in my family (some of them anyway). And in my immediate family, my sister,out of the four of us, is the only one not born in July. Psh, what an outcast! Just kidding Barbie Girl, if you happen to be reading this (she knows I'm not really kidding ;P).

Outcast.. makes me think of an amazing book series. Maybe I'll blog about it laters.

Writer, Reader, and Friend,

Sammy-Aniwaya<3

Raining Cats and Dogs..

There is no particular reason why that's the name of this post. Even though it actually was storming earlier. Just out of the blue. It was weird, actually.

Anywho. This is my first post! *Claps furiously* Yay for first posts!
(I think just about everybody mentions that it is their first post when making the first post. How cliche. (; )

Well. For my first post I'm wondering about outlines. How do people go about writing their outlines for a novel? What does it look like? Whats the bases for it? Do you make it extremely detailed? Like down to lines that may be said, motions made, etc.?

I think creating a very good outline for my books would help get them written faster. Last night I suddenly felt very lacking in the progress area on my writing's. Probably because I did a lot of comparing of myself to somebody who somehow writes so much it's insane. Probably because I don't make myself at least write a single paragraph everyday. Spending more time working on my novels might possibly help. :P

Well, people who may happen to come across my amazingly short and boring first post, if you are a writer, how do you specifically go about making outlines?

PS. Does anybody know how to set a signiture for each future post? Thanks!

Writer, Reader, and Friend,
Samantha-Aniwaya<3